STATE, LOCAL OFFICIALS DECLARE STATE OF EMERGENCY AROUND EVERBANK FIELD AHEAD OF JAGUARS 2017 SEASON

​At a press conference early this morning, Florida Governor Rick Scott and Jacksonville Mayor Lenny Curry held a rare joint press conference to declare a state of emergency around EverBank Field in Jacksonville in response to fears surrounding the impending Jaguar’s 2017 season.

“Let me be clear, this is nothing like residents of Jacksonville have ever seen before.” Governor Scott declared in a somber tone. “I encourage you, please, get out of the stadium. There is no other option at this point.”

“If you decide to stay, (Jaguar’s General Manager) Tom Coughlin will not come to rescue you.” Mayor Curry warned. “All personnel within two miles of EverBank Field are hereby under mandatory evacuation.”

In the area near the impact zone, an ominous mood abounded. The Jacksonville Sports Tavern, Veteran’s Memorial Arena, and the Baseball Grounds of Jacksonville were all entirely closed, windows were boarded up, and sandbags were piled up around the perimeter of the baseball field. A statement from recorded remotely from Memphis, Tennessee, Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp owner Ken Babby said “This is like nothing we’ve ever seen before, we pray for the best and that we have a quick recovery so we can get back to doing what we do best, bizarre rebranding of minor league teams.”

In the Sports Complex one building remained open, Intuition Ale Works.

“We’ve weathered seasons like this before, I don’t see it being much worse than 2012.” said Intuition owner Ben Davis. “You just hunker down, keep the beer flowing, and people stay happy.”
At press time, the Trump Administration was reportedly considering denying Governor Scott’s request for federal disaster aid, citing more critical situations in Cleveland and Buffalo.