Scientists Predict EPA Administrator Pruitt's Eyes Will Merge

Scientists from the respected Max Planck Institute in Germany predict that EPA Administrator Scott Pruitt's eyes will merge within three years. "They were close together when he was first appointed," said Dr. Siegfried Ernst of the Institute, "and, by our measurements, day by day they seem to be moving even closer to each other." A White House spokesperson responded: "President Trump believes Mr. Pruitt will be the best cyclops cabinet officer in history."