Few know it, but America’s favorite international prankster, Vladimir Putin, went to grade school in Ft. Lauderdale, where he and ASJ member T.R. Hainline were best buddies. “I have known Poot for 50 years,” says T.R. “You think he’s mischievous now? You should have seen him in 4th grade!” Recently, T.R. was talking to his mother on the phone, and in the middle of the call Poot cut in (toying around with some monitoring gadgetry refined by Russia’s Federal Security Service) and, doing his best Boris Badenov imitation said in a low voice and heavy accent, “You better visit your mother, or you’ll be headed to a gulag in Siberia!” T.R.’s mother laughed and said, “Is that Pooty? We miss your old high jinx!” There was some reminiscing, and then Poot said, “Let me spend Christmas with all of you!” And, in an instant, the Hainlines’ computers, cell phones, land line, and TV were commandeered by the Russian Federal Security Service. “Poooooooty!!!!” laughed T.R. and his mother. T.R. then received a call and was appointed head of the National Security Agency in Washington, D.C. ASJ
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