Former Child Actor Testifies Before Congress

Former child actor Jeff "Dopey" Sessions testified before Congress yesterday, denying clandestine meetings with The Wicked Queen. "It's a detestable lie," said Sessions. "She once stopped by the house to have latkes, but we didn't discuss anything about the U.S. elections." Shortly after his testimony, the now 96-year-old Wicked Queen tweeted, "#bullshit".

---